"Where there is creativity, there is hope." ~ Donna Karan

Dexamphetamine is definitely not the drug for me

by - Wednesday, June 06, 2012

At the beginning of last month (May), I hesitantly agreed to give the drug Dexamphetamine a go. In hindsight, I wish I didn't. I was prescribed it with high hopes it would help wake my brain up and help make dealing with the brain fog a little easier. The opportunity to feel alert? Brain fog better? Improvement in cognitive function? Yes please, sign me up!

Now, normally I would steer clear of drugs with the potential side effect insomnia after an awful experience a couple of years ago when a drug trial kept me awake 24/7 for three weeks straight (nope, I'm not kidding), but I was desperate, and desperate times call for desperate measures.

Besides, I was assured that I'd be unlikely to have any problems as most patients had no troubles and saw it work wonders, and that other than insomnia there were no other reported side effects. I can't believe I fell for that one, AGAIN! As if I'd be in the most people category! When it comes to side effects, my body is notorious for reacting.

Yes indeedy, I had drug induced insomnia and nausea to boot. I even experienced things that weren't even mentioned as side effects! About an hour after taking my first dose early morning I started feeling strange. Really strange. Like out of body strange. Abducted by aliens strange. Like my drink had been spiked strange. Now, I don't know  what it feels like to have had your drink spiked, but I'm betting this feeling comes pretty close. Okay, maybe not that close, but that's the best way I can describe it.

I spent the whole day feeling less than human, and night time was no exception. By the time I got to bed, I was beyond exhausted and I thought I'd surely sleep after popping my usual sleeping pills. NOPE! Come three in the morning, I was wide awake. When I did finally fall asleep, I was stuck in that weird semiconscious state. Half asleep, yet half awake. Yuck. This drug messed with my brain alright.

The next day, as expected, I felt totally terrible. Sickly. And with that, I couldn't bring myself to take the next dose. I just wanted to be able to sleep of the yuckiness. I decided that Dexamphetamine is definitely not the drug for me. No side effects my ass! This doctor is kidding himself.

After the drug was out of my system I returned to feeling normal sick. Feeling sick has never felt so good! (I know all you spoonies know exactly what I mean HA!) As hard as it is some days, I'd rather try and push through rather than feel like that again. So from now on, I'll try not to complain about the brain fog and cognitive impairment as much.

Mr Fatigue Man was sure surprised to hear I had such trouble. Thrown even. Go figure. I am not surprised at all, just a little disappointed. He's even considering discussing other drug options, but I doubt I'll give anything else a chance- I am done dealing with side effects and doctors who think I'm strange because of them. I am done.

Why can't medications have any good side effects for a change like clearer skin, whiter teeth and bigger boobs?

It's too much to ask for apparently.

Damn you Dexamphetamine, damn you.

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