"Where there is creativity, there is hope." ~ Donna Karan

Awakening Hope- Dreams and Desires

by - Thursday, February 10, 2011

(image via weheartit.com)

As the new year began, a new season bloomed and the birds sweetly sang as I trawled through the first few pages of my diary. The designated theme for the fist month- "Awakening Hope" brought forth new dreams and desires. The letters leapt forth and glistened in the sunlight, beckoning me to surrender to new possibilities, adorned with the power of awakening hope.

It's a new year and I find myself full of new dreams, new desires and renewed hope. However, with each new year also comes apprehension. What path will my health decide to take? Despite being chronically ill, every year I still make an effort to set myself goals. I still dream, I still hold onto the hope that somehow this year will be better than the last, that maybe, just maybe, my health will improve. That maybe I'll be able to achieve some of my goals.

Year after year I have faced the frustrating disappointment of failing to achieve my goals all because of a stupid illness and there's part of me that wants to give up and face reality. After all, I am a sick person, but the real reality is that I am more than just a "sick" person. My illnesses do not define who I am, I'm just a girl who happens to be "sick" but that's not who the real me is. Amazingly though, with every new year that dawns, I am more determined than ever before, armed with even bigger dreams than I had dreamt for the year before.

Although my current circumstances may hold me back at times, I refuse to be kept down and I refuse to be defined by illness and the limitations it brings. I've learnt to face a new year with awakening hope. I dream bigger, better, stronger. And while I'm not one for making resolutions I can't keep, I do believe that it is important to set goals in spite of chronic illness. However, I have learnt not to put a time limit on them, thereby avoiding unnecessary heartache, frustration and disappointment- and boy, have I learnt this the hard way.

The following list contains my dreams and desires for the year 2011 and beyond. For a person living with CFS like myself, a list such as this can be completely overwhelming but I place it in God's hands. I've learnt to say "OK God, here are the desires of my heart for this year. I place them in your hands. I want your will to be done and I want you to be glorified in my life this year. I trust you completely and whatever happens- happens."
For the sake of my health I have learnt not to pressure myself, so if I don't achieve any of these goals this year than that's okay. Sometimes it's hard enough just to survive another day, but I choose to believe, I choose to still hope, dream and plan because it means that I'm thriving and not just surviving.

My Dreams and Desires

  • drink more water
  • attempt gentle stretches 3x a week and gradually build up
  • drink vegetable juice and fruit smoothies daily
  • eat at least 1 piece of fresh fruit daily
  • experiment with different diets to try and gain some energy
  • rest and find ways of improving my energy levels
  • try to get back to work- working at least one short shift per week

  • save more money
  • aim to save for a new car or a trip overseas
  • tithe 11% of income instead of 10% in church offerings
  • sew monthly into Random Acts Of Blogging Kindness project
  • set aside money to help bless/encourage those who are chronically ill and/or in need.

  • get my license
  • start working on writing a novel
  • work towards getting my craft business up and running
  • keep a regular journal
  • write more poetry
  • take more photos
  • keep a sketchbook
  • explore more crafts
  • learn how to sew
  • learn calligraphy
  • overcome social anxiety disorder
  • bake more
  • experiment with recipes
  • create cupcakes to sell to help develop and expand my craft business

  • attend young adults group at church more regularly when possible- at least 2x a month
  • read the Bible more/study devotionals


  • aim to write one helpful article a month
  • aim to get one article published on an online site/forum
  • follow and comment on more blogs
  • spend more time on online forums, connecting with and encouraging other writers
  • start another blog as a project that will serve to be a resource and provide encouragement to the chronically ill

  (image via weheartit.com)


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