adenomyosisapartment lifechronic illnesschronic lifechronic paincraft nookcraft projectsEndometriosisgoalsME/CFSSocial anxiety disorderwork in progress
Spring Summer 19/20 Goals
I cannot believe I’ve nearly made it through my thirteenth year with illness. The year feels like it has flown by but it has also seemed as slow as a tortoise at times. This year has been a particularly challenging one which I’ll be glad to see the back of, if I’m honest.
To add to my enormously challenging year, I want to throw more challenges into the mix because I am an insane woman who has absolutely lost her damn mind.
Here’s what I’d like to achieve over spring (what’s left of it that is) and summer:
Goal: Clean and organise wardrobe.
Why I want to achieve this goal: I’ve been struggling to efficiently fit into the tiny built-in wardrobe in my bedroom since we moved in. Oh apartment life! Until this point I’d given up hope of having an organised wardrobe. I couldn’t seem to find storage tubs that worked well with the overhead shelf because of the low door frame, and I found it impossible to fit all of my clothes that need to be on hangers in the ridiculously small available hanging space. But I recently discovered some storage containers from Kmart which fit perfectly through the door frame and are stackable, which will go a long way with helping to maximise space, so I’d like to try tackling this miniscule wardrobe again.
It’s crammed and overwhelming and I want it to be functional. I’d like to see everything I own at once so clothing items aren’t forgotten about.
Another reason I need to create a more functional and efficient wardrobe is that I’d like to maximise space so I can put away all my clothes hanging on an open wardrobe to make more space for craft and writing.
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| This has got to go. |
What is holding me back? A badly designed space - my small built-in wardrobe houses a water heater which takes up most of the hanging space (I’d like to meet the genius who came up with that fantastic design), which makes for a frustrating challenge as I have some dresses and jackets that can’t be folded. I only have 48 centimeters of hanging space to work with which is not a lot.
As our apartment doesn’t have room for a linen cupboard, my wardrobe also has to function as linen storage which makes conquering small space storage issues feel like a losing battle.
How am I going to accomplish this goal?
- Make every centimetre count.
- Sort and get rid of craft magazines I’ve got taking up precious shelving space.
- Do another cull of clothes that no longer fit me or spark joy.
- Store out-of-season clothing in tubs down in our storage cage if need be.
- Try storing linens in the stackable white containers I got from Kmart across the top shelf.
- Sort through drawers and try the KonMari folding method again to make room for the clothes hanging on my floor to ceiling poles which can be folded into drawers.
- Invest in a better iron so I can fold as many clothes as possible.
- Find a new place for makeup as storing it in tubs on these shelves isn't working.
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| Makeup storage disaster. |
My reward: A new summer dress or skirt. The irony of this reward is not lost on me!
Goal: Make and send Christmas cards.
Why I want to achieve this goal: I want to continue my tradition of sending out handmade cards. I think it’s such a nice thing to do at the end of the year to thank and celebrate the people in my life and it’s something that brings me a lot of joy. My aim is to have them ready to send in the first week of December, but if my health won’t allow it, then I'll have to scrap this goal.
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| Ready to create. |
What is holding me back? Mental fatigue. Making a huge batch of cards is taxing on my brain which exacerbates my brain fog, cognitive dysfunction and eye pain. I’m more behind schedule than I’d like to be but I have all the materials I need and I’ve already come up with a few designs, so hopefully I won’t have to use too much brain power.
How am I going to accomplish this goal?
- Clean my craft desk
- Sacrifice spending time with friends and cut back on going to church for a while.
- Cook extra simple meals
- Focus on making 2-3 cards a night.
- If I’m struggling, consider limiting the people on my list.
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| I'm planning to use this cute little die that came with a Christmas edition card making magazine. |
My reward: Watch Christmas movies and eat mince pies. I am so looking forward to this.
Goal: Clean and reorganise bathroom cupboard.
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| It's a mess. I'm a mess. |
Why I want to achieve this goal: It looks messy and gross and I want it looking like a skincare shelf in a salon. I'd also love to make some room to store laundry things as my sister has taken over the laundry with her pet food.
What is holding me back: Lack of motivation and other things demanding my energy. My bathroom is often my last priority these days.
How am I going to accomplish this goal?
- Try a new storage system. I've been using old magazine holders, a storage idea from Pinterest, which just isn't working for me.
- Make feminine hygiene products discreet.
- Throw out things I'm no longer using.
- Store hair styling tools in my wardrobe if possible.
My reward: Shopping for new storage that sparks joy.
Goal: Set up writing desk.
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| My soon to be new writing desk. |
Why I want to achieve this goal: I have done little crafting lately as my craft desk is also my writing desk, so I want to create a separate space where I can write and use my computer without needing to pack up and unpack a craft project I'm working on.
Having a designated craft desk would make painting beyond the page projects easier. Half the time I end up on the dining table, which annoys my sister. Creating a beautiful little writing space away from the chaos and clutter that craft projects often create is essential for my sanity.
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| See what I mean? |
What is holding me back? Lack of space - I need to sacrifice my open wardrobe to fit in a small writing desk.
How am I going to accomplish this goal?
- Clean out wardrobe so I can fit in all the clothes hanging on the open wardrobe.
- Assemble writing desk.
- Ask my dad for help with assembling desk if I need to.
- Choose a colour scheme and decorate workspace.
- Organise stationery
My reward: A comfortable office chair. I’m sitting on a dining table chair which isn’t great for Fibromyalgia pain.
Goal: Make Christmas cards for a craft blog post.
Why I want to achieve this goal: This goal is a bonus one, so not a high priority, but I’d love to sit down and make some cards with the Bows & Bells Collection from The Reject Shop to share in a blog post.
I’m usually making things for others and I’d like to enjoy making something cute and fun for myself with no pressure (except my plans to share them in a blog post that is).
What is holding me back? Brain fog and mental fatigue are my nemesis as usual. I may not have the energy and mental capacity to sit and brainstorm ideas after making Christmas cards for friends and family.
How am I going to accomplish this goal?
- Put off gift shopping until mid-December.
- Try crafting late at night when my brain seems to function a little better.
My reward: A slice of Christmas pudding with custard. It’s been so long since I’ve had Christmas pudding *drool*.
Goal: Write about my Adenomyosis diagnosis and recent battle with Endometriosis.
Why I want to achieve this goal: March is Endometriosis awareness month and April is Adenomyosis awareness month, so I’d like to detail all of my recent experiences (the good, the bad and the ugly) to help raise some awareness and hopefully help others feel less alone.
I’d never heard of Endometriosis when I was diagnosed with it at 19 and I knew very little about Adenomyosis when I was diagnosed with it last year - all I knew was that it caused heavy and frequent bleeding. While we’ve come a long way since then in breaking down stigma and taboos, we still have a long way to go.
What I’ve been facing over the last two years has made for a lonely and sometimes terrifying experience. When some weird and anxiety inducing symptoms appeared I did not understand what was happening to my body or why it was happening. I found myself with questions I was too afraid to ask friends and even doctors out of fear I was insane.
I couldn’t seem to find anyone on support groups or forums with the same problems as me, so I want to write the post I wanted to read. Surely I can’t be the only one.
What is holding me back? Fear and anxiety. Endometriosis and Adenomyosis come with a bunch of gross TMI symptoms that I don’t even talk about with my closest friends, let alone the freaking internet.
I find blogging about Fibromyalgia and ME/CFS challenging as it is. Sometimes after publishing a personal post I wake up in the night with panic attacks. So how am I going to find the courage to divulge exceptionally personal symptoms and experiences on the internet?
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| A new mini light box sits next to my computer as a constant reminder to write bravely. |
How am I going to accomplish this goal?
- Remember why I started blogging. If sharing my story helps just one person feel validated and less alone, then it’s worth it.
- Gather all of my thoughts and happenings into dot points on paper and work from there.
- Dedicate some time on my better days over January and February to work on the post. (It’s a flipping long story that may end up being a 45 minute plus read, guys. Haha. So don’t hate me if it’s not finished in time to post for March. Ooh! Anyone want to place a bet on the estimated reading time?!)
My reward: Head to my local cafe for parma night with friends or family.
Goal: Sort through and organise scrapbook paper and cardstock.
Why I want to achieve this goal: I roughly organised my scrapbook paper last year and now I want to do a more thorough job to help make searching for the right paper less frustrating and time consuming. I’m also unhappy with my current paper storage. I’ve been making do with a letter tray from Ikea which isn’t designed for 12x12 paper so I want to find a better storage system.
What is holding me back? Overwhelment - organising papers by colour, texture and pattern does my head in. Also, scrapbook paper storage that’s designed for the Ikea Kallax unit is hard to find in Australia.
How am I going to accomplish this goal?
- Try an MDF 12x12 paper storage kit. I’m sure I’ve got one lying around somewhere that I was too lazy to paint and glue together.
- Sort cardstock by colour.
- Keep it simple and make two categories for scrapbook paper organisation- florals and patterns.
- Store paper pads in baskets.
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| I think I'll just paint it white. |
My Reward: A turmeric latte. I’m using turmeric lattes as a healthy reward as drinking them regularly was staining my teeth yellow and I am not about that life.
Goal: Try my hand at stepper cards.
Why I want to achieve this goal: I got this beautiful stepper card kit that came with a card making magazine I’d like to make use of. It will be good to challenge myself and learn a new technique which will broaden my card making horizon.
What is holding me back? The instructions for these cards are vague and I don’t understand some steps. The kit doesn’t come with all the required cardstock as highlighted in the directions, and I’m terrible with cutting to specific dimensions.
How am I going to accomplish this goal?
- Have a look for tutorials on YouTube to help me understand what to do.
- Buy required cardstock.
My reward: Tea and biscuits.
Goal: Attend a networking event
Why I want to achieve this goal: I’m planning to go to a Christian networking event (which is this weekend actually, eep!) because I want to put myself out there more. ''Networking'' haha - it’s basically where a lot of Christian singles go hoping to meet someone, which is one reason I’m trying to go. I want to position myself more to meet a gorgeous guy who I will want to spend the rest of my life with.
Putting myself out there to meet someone is something I’ve been waiting to do when my health improves. But after almost 13 years of illness I’m starting to accept that if I want to find a husband, I must do it while I’m sick. I’ll be 32 next year and I’m wrangling a diseased uterus; time is now.
If keep waiting for perfect health I may never get married.
I also want to take this opportunity to branch out and make more friends. I’m tired of hiding myself away at home and feeling ashamed of being ill and unemployed. I don’t want this defining me anymore; I have a lot to offer as a friend and as a wife one day.
What is holding me back? Oh so many things. Social anxiety is a big one. It has been 10 years since I’ve been to a social event, like what do people even talk about these days? I am FREAKING OUT. But I’m also excited. Usually I just feel terrified, so that’s progress.
Also, I don’t want to tell people I’m unemployed and have them think I’m a bludger. It’s a real confidence crusher. How am I going to handle this? I don’t want to be dishonest but I also don’t want to tell people I’ve just met that I’m dealing with a handful of health issues.
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| Maybe I should just tell people that this is my occupation. |
Then there’s the mental fatigue and cognitive dysfunction and painful edema in my feet. And what if I suddenly get bad adenomyosis pain when I’m talking to someone? I have no control over when it hits.
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| Oh, excuse me while I just slide onto the floor and dieeee. |
How am I going to accomplish this goal?
- Rest in bed the day before.
- Go to bed early the night before and get up early so I can pace myself and rest between getting ready.
- Keep makeup simple to save energy. Use one shade of eyeshadow instead of blending out three colours. Apply a few individual lashes where needed instead of stressing about applying strip lashes (which I’m not that great at).
- Make an anxiety plan. My psychologist has been quite helpful with this.
- Positive self-talk and encouragement.
- Take flats to change into in case my feet get too painful in heels.
- Tell people what I’ve been telling the people I meet at church: I’m in between jobs and would eventually love to start my own business selling cards, invitations and chocolate bouquets. This is true and people need not know that I’ve been in between jobs for many years.
- Make a photo album on my phone with some of my crafts to show people if they ask.
- Take the focus off me and keep asking people about themselves.
- Have my strong pain killers with me and take them if I need to. (If I feel too drowsy, I must pull out and go home.)
- Pull a Cinderella and set a curfew so I don’t crash as bad afterwards.
- Buy frozen meals and bulk them out with rice to have post-event recovery.
My reward: Order pizza for dinner and watch Eli on Netflix. It looks so good! I hope it doesn’t disappoint.
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| All set to get dolled up. |
Goal: Throw a summer dinner party.
Why I want to achieve this goal: My family is off to Hawaii and I won’t be joining them as I don’t feel well enough to manage the trip, so I want to make staying behind suck less. I’m heartbroken that stupid illness is making me miss an amazing holiday and hanging out with friends would help.
What is holding me back? Lack of energy and confidence; I’m usually not one for hosting gatherings. That’s probably because I’m ill though. I think I’d enjoy hosting regular dinner parties if I had the health for it.
How am I going to accomplish this goal?
- Come up with some dinner ideas.
- Choose a fun dessert to make.
- Invite friends, obviously.
- Ask friends for help.
My reward: See a movie.
Goal: Go craft storage shopping and get my craft nook in perfect order.
Why I want to achieve this goal: My dad and I rearranged my room as we figured out a better layout that isn’t as cramped, so now that my craft space is in a more functional spot I feel motivated to concentrate on getting a storage system happening. Most of my supplies are stored in moving boxes which isn’t aesthetically pleasing so I need drawers and baskets to finish organising my craft nook once and for all. After moving things around again, everything is in disarray. I want this space to be my happy place and it currently isn’t.
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| Where do I even begin? |
What is holding me back? Shopping amplifies my pain and is often a trigger for post-exertional malaise.
How am I going to accomplish this goal?
- Make a plan of how I would like my Kallax unit to look so I have a rough idea of what kind of storage to get for particular items.
- Source as much as I can online and use click & collect option where available.
- Concentrate on one category each week
- Organise all my Kaisercraft branded products by collection.
My reward: Make Mars Bar slice to enjoy.
Goal: Decorate Rainbow Stack.
Why I want to achieve this goal: This year has been very unfun so I want to work on a fun craft project. I also want to have this sitting on my craft desk as decoration.
What is holding me back? Indecisiveness. Do I want a full on glitter rainbow or do I want a pastel unicorn themed rainbow?
How am I going to accomplish this goal?
- Work out a colour scheme.
- Flip through craft magazines for inspiration.
- Find a unicorn flourish to use if going with a unicorn theme.
- Craft in 20 minute blocks.
My reward: Buy a new craft project to work on.
Okay, that’s it. I'm all goaled out. Are you exhausted?! I think I need to sleep for three years just from writing out my goals! This is definitely the healthy me shining through - I’ve always been overambitious.
This is an awful lot for someone whose uterus is throwing frequent fits of diseased rage, but I will try my best.
Some of these goals may have to become Autumn goals…
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